Dear Neil: I met a real nice man about six months ago. We have been out a few times and he calls me every day. We talk about a lot of things, but I don’t know much about him. He doesn’t live very far from me, but when I ask him to come over, he says that he’s working. When I start asking him about what he wants from me, he changes the subject. Why does he call all the time, if he doesn’t want to see me? When we talk on the phone, we talk about work or what’s going on in his family, or the weather, but never about us. The times we were together, he has been so sweet and kind, and treats me like I’m someone special, so I just don’t get it.
Mixed Up in Englewood, Colorado
Dear Mixed Up: He’s not interested in a romantic relationship with you. He doesn’t want to get close and personal, and most importantly, he doesn’t want to be with you. He is gently saying “no”, but may sincerely enjoy having you as a friend and sounding board. In interpreting another person’s signals about whether they’re available for a romantic relationship or not, always look at their actions. What they say is less important than what they do.