Expressing Love and Appreciation to Your Valentine

When was the last time you told your Valentine how valued s/he was?  How special?  What you appreciate and how much you appreciate him or her?

In honor of Valentine’s Day, here is an exercise if you’d like to correct that oversight—and infuse your relationship with renewed appreciation and gratitude.

Select from the following list three things you really appreciate about your Valentine.  Then tell your partner what these three things are.  You can add items not on this list.

I really appreciate:

  • Your energy
  • Your strength
  • The way you are commanding
  • The way you let me direct things
  • How sensitive you are to me
  • How you support me and respond to my moods
  • Your ability to read me
  • The way you are when we make decisions
  • The way you let me be myself
  • Your skin
  • Your face
  • Your warmth
  • Your enthusiasm
  • Your hair
  • The way you touch me
  • How safe I feel with you
  • Your tenderness
  • Your eyes
  • The way I trust you
  • Your passion
  • How well you know me
  • Your gracefulness
  • The way you move
  • The way you kiss me
  • Your affection
  • Your playfulness
  • Your humor
  • How you look in clothes
  • Your loyalty to me
  • Your competence as a spouse/partner
  • Your competence as a parent
  • What you are like as a friend

This can be a simple statement like “I really like the way you are sensitive to my moods.”  But take permission to elaborate as much as you can.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

Source:  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver (Three Rivers Press)

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