Dear Neil: I don’t know how to start, but I am ever so desperate. I have fallen in love with a man who is 30 (I am 20), and we have been on and off for the past 18 months. We are also long distance, because he is in Belgium and I live in London. […]
Of the thousands of letters or emails I have received from readers of this column through the years, there have been certain themes or questions that have repeated themselves over and over again. Some people write of feeling unloved, unwanted or discarded in a relationship. Another group of readers write of feeling misused or poorly […]
Dear Neil: I grew up in a household with an emotionally unavailable father, and I courted “bad boys.” Even now, I find myself questioning the “good guy” I am now involved with. He’s emotionally available (which I sometimes find to be weak), and I’m constantly trying to play up his “macho” side. His sweet side […]
Dear Neil: I’m in a two-year long-distance relationship, and we got engaged four months ago. But my fiance has become detached, and may have cold feet. We set a date one year out for our wedding. Then he became very stressed (finishing his masters degree, work, finances, etc.). So he postponed the date, and wants […]
Dear Neil: I have a daughter with my on-and-off-again boyfriend of three years. On one of our off times, he got another girl pregnant, and I am struggling with that. I have tried to be supportive, but it is hard because I feel so betrayed. It is the cause of most of our fights, and […]
Dear Neil: I am a 36 year old single woman who has never married. I have dated literally hundreds of men from all walks of life—from professionals, to artists, to ski bums, to doctors and to performers—and a whole lot of other men who don’t neatly fit into an easy category. But every man I’ve […]
Dear Neil: I have recently been involved with a 29 year old man. We got along really well. Although he doesn’t live in the same city as I do, he visited frequently, we talked on the phone every couple of days and we maintained something of a relationship over a couple of months. Suddenly, however, […]
Dear Neil: Regarding your recent column on the confusing message “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” does it matter that my husband of many years says he no longer loves me, but is still the same caring man he has always been? Don’t actions mean more than words? Puzzled in Wellington, […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Here are things to examine before you consider marriage: You must respect what your partner does for a living. This can be particularly challenging in today’s depressed economy when someone is more likely to accept any job they can find, even a menial one, and not […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: I’m getting ready to pop the question, and wondered whether you have any guidelines about knowing whether someone would be a good choice for me. We are different in so many ways, but we enjoy many of the same things, we get along well, […]