Dear Neil: I grew up in a household with an emotionally unavailable father, and I courted “bad boys.” Even now, I find myself questioning the “good guy” I am now involved with. He’s emotionally available (which I sometimes find to be weak), and I’m constantly trying to play up his “macho” side. His sweet side […]
Dear Neil: I’m in a two-year long-distance relationship, and we got engaged four months ago. But my fiance has become detached, and may have cold feet. We set a date one year out for our wedding. Then he became very stressed (finishing his masters degree, work, finances, etc.). So he postponed the date, and wants […]
Dear Neil: I have a daughter with my on-and-off-again boyfriend of three years. On one of our off times, he got another girl pregnant, and I am struggling with that. I have tried to be supportive, but it is hard because I feel so betrayed. It is the cause of most of our fights, and […]
Dear Neil: I am a 36 year old single woman who has never married. I have dated literally hundreds of men from all walks of life—from professionals, to artists, to ski bums, to doctors and to performers—and a whole lot of other men who don’t neatly fit into an easy category. But every man I’ve […]
Dear Neil: I have recently been involved with a 29 year old man. We got along really well. Although he doesn’t live in the same city as I do, he visited frequently, we talked on the phone every couple of days and we maintained something of a relationship over a couple of months. Suddenly, however, […]
Dear Neil: Regarding your recent column on the confusing message “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” does it matter that my husband of many years says he no longer loves me, but is still the same caring man he has always been? Don’t actions mean more than words? Puzzled in Wellington, […]
Note: This is the second of a two-part series. Here are things to examine before you consider marriage: You must respect what your partner does for a living. This can be particularly challenging in today’s depressed economy when someone is more likely to accept any job they can find, even a menial one, and not […]
Note: This is the first of a two-part series. Dear Neil: I’m getting ready to pop the question, and wondered whether you have any guidelines about knowing whether someone would be a good choice for me. We are different in so many ways, but we enjoy many of the same things, we get along well, […]
If you’ve ever had someone you love and care about say to you: “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” you will know how disorienting and puzzling it is to hear such words. But what about the person who says those words? If you have been thinking or verbalizing those words recently, […]
Dear Neil: My boyfriend and I haven’t been together for very long. We fell in love very fast, and have suffered a miscarriage. Since then he has become more obsessed with his autonomy and having space, and he has been emotionally distant. He is yet to be divorced (he’s taking his time), and I found […]