Dear Neil: I wonder if you could write about the slow ending of a relationship through a long illness. Thanks. Grieving in Wellington, New Zealand Dear Grieving: To say “goodbye” to someone is accepting that a connection has ended. It means breaking the energetic connection that keeps you tied together. It is essential if you […]
A Relationship Requires Two
Dear Neil: I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two months, and I’m having a very hard time moving on. About a month into our relationship, while he was drunk, he told me that he was paranoid about getting close to me because he was afraid I would break up with him. During our […]
Ending A Relationship
Dear Neil: I’m having a great deal of trouble ending a relationship with my boyfriend of several years. I know it would be in my best interest to end things—the relationship will never go anywhere, partially because I don’t want a long-term relationship with him. Anyway, I’m aware that time is marching on and I’m […]
Advice For Divorced Woman
Dear Neil: I’m 36 years-old. I’ve been divorced for a year and a half and have a six year-old son. My 34 year-old ex-husband is in the throes of a whirlwind courtship and is about to marry a gorgeous 19 year-old girl. I’m having trouble dealing with his new relationship. It’s not that I […]
How Healed From Divorce Are You?
Dear Neil: For the past six months, I have been healing from a painful, acrimonious drawn out divorce/custody battle that has left me drained, angry and exhausted. I still have lots of emotions about my ex-husband and how the whole relationship—and all our love—just disintegrated in front of my eyes. I have recently begun dating […]
How to Let Go of a Relationship
Dear Neil: My boyfriend of six and a half years broke up with me and married another woman. Before they married, she decided she didn’t want to work, so he supported her, bought her a car, etc. Do you think he forgot me that quickly after all the years we were together? Was he on […]
Breaking Up Requires Effective Closure
Dear Neil: I was in a two year relationship with a fifty year old man who asked me to marry him. But Bob had both second thoughts and anxiety attacks, and eventually he ended the relationship saying: “I don’t want to talk anymore, and I don’t have to tell you why I don’t want to […]
When Your Relationship Fails
The following questions, gleaned from Daphne Rose Kingma’s book Coming Apart (Fawcett Crest Publications) are designed to assist you in gaining greater awareness of why your relationship failed. These exercises are designed for you, not for you to send to your ex-partner. On paper, tell the story of how your relationship began. Where did you meet, what […]