Get a group of all women (or all men) sitting around and talking about the subject of what you would like the opposite sex to do differently, or what puzzles you about their behavior and how you would like it changed, and you would have the potential to spend many long hours in deep conversation.  Few things appear to be more intriguing than how we would like the opposite sex to behave differently.     

“It seems to me that women respond best to sharing intimately with others, when that intimacy includes elements of the woman feeling cherished and valued for the person she is,” writes Graeme S. of Christchurch, New Zealand.  “The man is most likely to respond best when he ends up feeling admired and commended for what he does.  If one could use the other’s language to get the message across, then it would be better received and understood.  So what do I see as a ‘successful’ relationship?  One where the individuals are able to clearly identify what it is exactly that they would most like to hear from the other, then to actually tell them.”

Well then, let us begin.

What do women want from men?

  • Women have more of a need to feel loved on an ongoing basis than do most men.
  • They want to feel valued, honored and respected, even when the two of you disagree.
  • Women want to be wanted for their minds, or because they care, or because they are nurturing, or whatever.  They want to be wanted and valued more than just for their bodies.
  • They want their men to be skilled in the areas around problem solving, negotiating, conflict resolution and compromise.
  • That their desire/drive for sex be given equal billing to the man’s; that the man will respect their timing and not impose himself on them unless given permission to do so.
  • They want closeness and companionship, but not too close.
  • They want their man to be a friend, companion and playmate.
  • They want a man who takes pride in his appearance.
  • If you have children, women want their men to be caring, gentle, involved fathers.
  • Women personalize what you do with the children.  If you ignore, belittle, or otherwise hurt one of the children, they take it as a personal injury that you have inflicted on them.
  • Women want romance.  They want to feel wanted and desired by their man.
  • They want a man to have a positive self image that is not solely dependent on his work or career.
  • Women want equal consideration and respect.

What do men want from women?

  • Men want their women to be attractive and in good shape.
  • They want a best friend.
  • Men want acknowledgement and appreciation for what they do.
  • Men want women to teach them how to best succeed in their relationship.
  • Men may sometimes have to be gently helped to be sensitive and tuned in to the needs and emotions of their women.
  • Men want empathy with their feelings.
  • They want women to be seductively aggressive and to occasionally take the lead.
  • They want women who share common interests with them, and they need and want a companion to do enjoyable and fun activities with.
  • They don’t want and don’t respond well to demanding, pushy women.
  • Men respond to women going out of their way to be nurturing and caring.
  • Men want to succeed with women and want women to make it easier for them to succeed.
  • Men want women to accept them.

“Woe to the house where the hen crows and the rooster keeps still.” Spanish Proverb

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