Marriage Intensives in Colorado: When Weekly Couples Therapy Isn’t Enough

If your marriage is in serious trouble, an hour of couples therapy once a week may not feel like enough.

Perhaps you keep having the same arguments without resolving them. One of you has withdrawn. Resentment has accumulated over years. Trust has been damaged. You may have tried couples counseling before but still feel stuck. Or perhaps one or both of you are wondering whether the marriage can survive.

A marriage intensive offers a different approach.

At Colorado Marriage Retreats, I work privately with one couple at a time for 5–6 hours a day over 2–5 consecutive days. There are no groups, workshops or other couples participating in your sessions. The time is devoted entirely to understanding what has gone wrong in your relationship and helping the two of you determine whether—and how—it can be repaired.

What Is a Marriage Intensive?

A marriage intensive is concentrated couples therapy conducted over several consecutive days rather than spread across months of weekly appointments.

In traditional couples counseling, you may spend part of each 50-minute session simply catching up on what happened during the previous week. Just as you begin reaching something important, the session may be over.

An intensive gives us enough uninterrupted time to go considerably deeper.

We can identify the patterns that repeatedly derail your relationship, understand the injuries and resentments beneath those patterns, work directly on the conflicts that have remained unresolved, and practice different ways of communicating and responding to each other.

The purpose isn’t to squeeze months of appointments into a few long days. It is to create enough concentrated time to work on the relationship in a way that simply isn’t possible in a weekly therapy hour.

When Should a Couple Consider a Marriage Intensive?

Couples who come to me are often dealing with problems such as:

• The same arguments happening over and over

• Years of anger, hurt or resentment

• Emotional withdrawal or loss of affection

• A serious breakdown in communication

• Damaged trust or betrayal

• Previous couples counseling that hasn’t produced enough change

• One partner questioning whether to remain in the relationship

• Separation or divorce beginning to feel like a real possibility

You do not both have to arrive feeling equally hopeful.

It is quite common for one partner to want desperately to repair the marriage while the other is uncertain whether enough can change. Ambivalence does not automatically mean the relationship is beyond repair.

What matters is whether both of you are willing to spend several days seriously examining what has happened and what might still be possible.

What Happens During the Intensive?

Before you arrive, I want to understand the history of your relationship, the problems bringing you here and what each of you hopes will be different.

Once we begin, we don’t follow a generic workshop curriculum.

We work on your relationship.

That may mean understanding why seemingly small disagreements become destructive fights. It may mean addressing years of accumulated resentment. We may need to work on defensiveness, anger, emotional withdrawal, broken trust or the inability to talk about important subjects without escalating.

We also work on what happens between the two of you in real time.

The goal isn’t simply to understand your relationship intellectually. It is to help you experience different ways of listening, responding, repairing injuries, expressing difficult feelings and resolving conflict.

Why Work Intensively Rather Than Once a Week?

Some couples do very well in weekly couples therapy. A marriage intensive isn’t necessary for everyone.

But when a relationship is deeply stuck or deteriorating rapidly, weekly sessions can sometimes feel painfully slow.

Several consecutive days give us continuity. We don’t have to stop just as we reach the heart of something important and wait another week to continue.

That allows us to examine problems in greater depth, work through difficult moments while they are happening, and build on progress from one day to the next.

For a couple whose marriage may be approaching a major decision, that concentrated time can be particularly valuable.

This Is Private Couples Therapy—Not a Group Marriage Retreat

One important distinction is that Colorado Marriage Retreats is not a seminar, workshop or group retreat.

I work with one couple at a time.

Your sessions are private. You will not be discussing your marriage in front of other couples or following a standardized program designed for everyone.

For 2–5 days, 5–6 hours each day, we focus on the particular history, injuries, patterns and decisions facing the two of you.

Who Will We Work With?

You will work directly with me, Neil Rosenthal.

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and have worked with individuals and couples for 46 years. I am the author of a #1 bestselling relationship book and more than 1,000 relationship articles that have been published in newspapers around the world.

My practice is devoted to private couples intensives.

Over the years I have worked with couples facing severe conflict, longstanding resentment, emotional disconnection, betrayal and the possibility of separation or divorce.

I don’t assume that every marriage should remain together. My role is to help you understand what has happened between you, determine what can realistically change, and—when both partners are willing—help you make a serious attempt at repairing the relationship.

How Long Does a Marriage Intensive Last?

Marriage intensives are  2–5 days, with approximately 5–6 hours of private work each day.

The appropriate length depends upon the seriousness and complexity of the problems you’re facing. We can discuss what would make the most sense for your situation during an initial telephone consultation.

Couples come to Colorado Marriage Retreats from Colorado and from across the North America.

Is Your Marriage Too Troubled for an Intensive?

That’s often the question couples are really asking.

There is no honest way to promise that every relationship can—or should—be saved.

But serious conflict, emotional distance, resentment and even uncertainty about remaining married do not necessarily mean that repair is impossible.

If you are approaching separation or divorce and find yourself wondering, “Have we really done everything we can before we end this?”, an intensive can provide the time and structure to explore that question seriously.

Not Sure if a Marriage Intensive Is Right for You?

You don’t have to decide that before contacting me.

I offer a complimentary telephone consultation so I can learn a little about what is happening in your relationship, answer your questions, and help you determine whether a private marriage intensive is appropriate for the two of you.

Call Neil Rosenthal at 720-331-5564.

If you’re not ready to call, you can also send me a private message describing briefly what is happening in your relationship. I will personally respond.